by Earlie Doriman
We all commit mistakes because nobody is perfect. Every time we do wrong to others, or have done things incorrectly, we normally feel guilty, embarrassed, and sorry and would even feel regretful. Yet think about it, what’s done is done, and you could not turn back time to do it differently or not do it at all. It was meant to happen and you no longer have any piece of control over it. You do not have to live with it for the rest of your life, do you?
Worrying too much for a shortcoming is pointless because it does not amend the situation whatsoever. You are only drenching yourself with useless anxiety and stress. Since the damage or inconvenience has been done, the viable things you can do really is to calm down, fix what could possibly be made to it, and if it concerns emotional distress to someone, admit and apologise before the situation gets awful.
Read along these simple tips to get over guilt and burden when you commit mistakes. This is helpful to me; this might be helpful to you too. Tell me if it worked to you before, am sure it will still work to you now.
1. Avoid excessive reaction to mistakes. Crying or shouting over embarrassment or guilt feelings might be a good relief but not for long. You can’t cry or shout forever. You may share your guilt feelings to your friends or family members but consider they also have their own list of things to do and problems to deal with, thus telling them about how sorry you are and how regretful you are about your woes, many times in a day, is absolutely too much. Do not be too melodramatic because people feel tired to listen every single bit of your uneasiness and they will eventually become disinterested about all your stories.
2. Do not keep yourself awake all night thinking about your shortcomings. Surely, you need better sleep to prepare for the next sunrise. In order to begin your day correctly, set aside the worry and do not let it bugged you overnight. You could not undone it, yet you can mend it through.
3. Believe that people understand. I suppose we are all gifted with a soft heart that melts easily to repenting souls. People will bear in mind that they are not perfect too and that forgiveness comes readily to you. So, when others have shortcomings, be the first one to understand and believe that they equally need that assurance.
4. Do not make the same mistakes again. If you were guilty because you gossip falsehood against someone and that someone discovered you were the culprit, be humble and be sincere to admit your dull judgment; and do not do the same mistake over again. If you do, you break up others trust and you will certainly not earn it once more. If you destroyed an item because of recklessness, make sure to take extra care when doing the same thing over. Repeated mistakes are annoying and would lead people to construe you are not worthy of their time.
5. Learn to accept mistakes and then apologise. It is very difficult for people to ask apology, particularly intelligent people. Brilliant minds thought their personality has no room for mistakes and so the admission of shortcoming is the last thing to come out from them. It only takes a minute to compose yourself to ask apology but it should take forever to show that you are truly sorry about what you have done. The challenge therefore is not on how to ask forgiveness but how to live up to it.
6. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. You can blame yourself once for doing something wrong or hurting others; but spare a part of your ego and realise that if others have been into that same circumstance, they must have done exactly the same thing, right? So there is indeed no use to hold yourself a notch above the paradigm because mistakes are there to happen; and you are not alone to carry out such incidental response. Do not punish yourself; do not be ashamed about a shortcoming because no one else will remember it after sometime.
7. Don’t live the nightmares of guilt feeling. Yes, you could have done things a different way or have been more tactful with your remarks. You could have been more careful dealing with someone or something. But winding it back over and over again in your head will only cause more guilt and distress. Get over that futile replay thinking.
8. Be optimistic. Positive thinking guides us to do things correctly. If you maintain an affirmative disposition even in the most uncertain situations, your instinct helps you choose the best available option and when you are at fault, being positive that things can be patched up soon will make it easier for you to get over the guilt and grief.
9. Prayers make a difference. God is the ultimate judge and saviour of all our shortcomings. If it is not easy for people to forgive what we have done wrong, God is always willing to listen and is never tired to provide us comfort. Prayer is very powerful to help us get over any feeling of inconvenience and surely God will give us a tap on our shoulders and will say; “It’s alright, you will be ok”.